STARRING:Richard Chandler, Aurora Grabill, Sam Hays
Read that title again. Feel offended? Then do yourself a favor and just click on away from here post fuckin’ haste, ‘cuz things are going to get waaaay more insane very, very fast.
So here we go; GAY JESUS is the story of ol’ JC and Judas…except they are completely in lust with one another. So these two fun lovin’ dudes hole up in a el scumo hotel room in Jerusalem where they right sermons and fuck a lot. Before long things get complicated by the arrival of Mary Magdalene, whom Jesus of course has to screw, which causes Judas to have a conniption fit (helped in no small part by Satan of course). You can guess where that leads…but what you probably wouldn’t guess is the inclusion of women pissing, copious amounts of schlong, and good ol’ gore…oh, and a laugh track.
As you can tell, this is one fucked up short feature. But, it’s a fucked up feature with a message (like all of writer/director Paul M McAlarney’s films); namely don’t be a homophobic dick (oh, and jealousy is rather shit too) .It also contains some really nice lighting and solid acting, but let’s be honest; if you chose to watch a flick called GAY JESUS, then the only thing you demanded was outrageousness, and let me tell ya, you get more of that than you could ever bargain for!
So; there you have it; but form your own opinion if you choose to check it out (if you’re 18+ that is), which you can do right here!
And with that, so closes The Outre Eye…but all is not lost; my revoltin’ reviews will now be featured exclusively on That’s Not Current!
• RELEASE DATE: In Theaters and On Demand Now
• WRITTEN BY: Barry Wernick, James R. Hallam
• DIRECTED BY: Ben Browder
• STARRING: Sammi Hanratty, Sean Astin, Drake Bell
-Reviewed by Daniel XIII
After Siouxsie’s (Hanratty) sister is murdered on campus, our plucky heroine gets her self purposefully interred in weekend detention (reserved for the richest students at Crestview Academy) to investigate the homicide further, as she believes these elitist d-bags know exactly what went down. This being a (semi) fright flick and all, our scrappy gang o’ goofs soon find them locked within the school where they begin to find themselves B.D, in the horror biz, as a mysterious assailant begins taking them out one by one. Who will survive, and what will be left of them…and is something supernatural afoot in among the stalk n’ slay?
First and foremost BAD KIDS OF CRESTVIEW ACADEMY (a sequel of sorts to 2012’s BAD KIDS GO TO HELL…although this film plays like a stand alone; hell, I had no idea the first film even existed before I performed an exhaustive 3.7 second IMDb search) is a fun lil’ fright flick. It doesn’t take itself overly seriously, and it’s filled to the brim with outrageous characters and absurd situations. The cast is really strong, with Sean Astin’s performance as a straight laced teacher in over his head surrounded by student body comprised of sociopaths and miscreants being a real stand out. Also adding to the enjoyment are some well done comic book style transition shots (fitting as this is based on a graphic novel), a lil’ groovy gore, and decent twists and turns.
If there is a negative to be found here; it’s that dread demon; lengthy run-time. I have no idea what possesses people to make horror movies that run over the “golden” 80 to 90 minutes, but they keep doing it, and ol’ BAD KIDS is no exception. At over an hour and forty minutes the action slows down here and there, and the overall pacing suffers for it a tad; but that being said, it is in no way a detriment to the over-all entertainment to be found here.
To put a fuckin’ bow on it; I really enjoyed BAD KIDS OF CRESTVIEW ACADEMY, and willing to wager you will to; it’s a serious load of fun and frights with some great slashy hijinks. Highly recommended!
Werewolves in Siberia are about to release a killer lil’ slice of awesome; an E.P. titled TRANSCONTINENTAL ROAD RACE on January 17th (which is also the same day as Roger Corman unleashes his sequel to DEATH RACE 2000; DEATH RACE 2050).
As you can surmise from the title of this bad boy; it too is inspired by ol’ Crazy Corman’s 1975 masterpiece…and let me tell you; the music contained herein should have been the score to the new film, as once again the wicked Werewolves die-liver a sonic assault of pure synth frenzy; including what just may be my favorite WIS tune ever; Frankenstein the Indestructible, an ominous, sound bite laden assault that really drives home the bad assery of the character brought to life by the late, great David Carradine!
Be sure to head here on the 17th and pick up a copy for your own damn self; and tell ’em XIII sent ya!
STARRING: Tony Moran, Lloyd Kaufman, Debbie Rochon
-Reviewed by Daniel XIII
Okay, I thought I had seen the height of cinematic lunacy when I viewed Paul M McAlarney’s HONKY HOLOCAUST, but let me tell you creeps that flick doesn’t even hold a cum covered candle to what awaited your’s cruelly when he popped his putrid peepers upon the same director’s punk rock infused opus THE UNGOVERNABLE FORCE!
In a weird society just a few steps to the side of our own, young Sal Purgatory is looking to heal his broken heart; the result of a recent break-up. Well he just so happens to fall for a comely punkette and as their relationship grows, so too do the tensions between the vulgar (yet ultimately heroic) punks and the local law enforcement (who in turn are aided and abetted by a neo-nazi group). But the punks aren’t the only poor bastards on the gendarmes shit list, as the goons routinely rape and kill female homeless, who are part of some sort of bum cult. While this all seems insane enough, I have to mention that the Mafia and monsters are involved as well. Before long everything erupts in all out war, as dicks are exposed, shits are taken, guts are spilled, and blood sprays freely. I love this fucking movie!
The only way I can adequately describe the experience of THE UNGOVERNABLE FORCE is; picture if John Waters had Sid Vicious as a muse rather than Divine, then decided to make flicks for Troma. Yup; fucking fantastic, right?!! You bet your ass it is!
Along with all of the off-kilter kill-crazy antics; there is a current of social consciousness (though not as prevalent as the anti-racisim message of HONKY HOLOCAUST) with a strong “abuse of power” and the need to kick against the pricks being chief among them. Also of note is how derogatory terms lose their meaning when used casually…you’ll see what I mean when you watch the film…and you will watch the film…
In the negative column; this film is definitely not for everybody (as was the case with the aforementioned HONKY HOLOCAUST) . There is a sense of offensiveness that is so pervasive that some of you weaker constituted fiends will never make it through the first ten minutes; but for the rest of us (a.k.a. the Cool Kids Club)…this flick is like a breath of fresh fuckin’ air (though one heavily scented with cheap booze and smokes) in genre cinema.
To sum it all up; I can emphatically state; if this film came out in the late ‘70’s or very early ‘80’s it would be revered as a masterpiece of exploitation cinema, no to mention a life changing flick for bored suburban kids just ready to rebel. I’m just going to come right out and say it; Paul M McAlarney represents just what we need; a ballsy as fuck film maker with a strong voice and no fear in presenting unsettling imagery accompanying an important message or two…all in the name in grind house ass foolery. Check it out when you can my creeps!
Some of my favorite creeps are involved with this; so iffin’ ya like the rough n’ tumble music that followed in the immediate wake of Nirvana (and for the record I really fuckin’ don’t…but I loved this film anyway, that’s how god damned good it is) then this is the flick for you!
Throw ’em some coins right here, and help their rock n’ roll dreams come true (the film makers, not the bands because, well…watch the movie and you’ll see)…
RELEASE DATE: Available January 10th on Blu-ray (Click Here to Purchase a Copy)
WRITTEN BY:Paul M McAlarney
DIRECTED BY:Paul M McAlarney
STARRING: Maria Natapov, LaNecia Edmonds, Lucas Fleming
When I park my ass in front of a flick distributed by those mad bastards over at Troma I expect to see a certain level of political incorrectness and gross out nonsense, but let me just assure you fine fiends upfront; they have hit some new levels of low with their release of Paul M McAlarney’s HONKY HOLOCAUST…and this site being what it is, you know that’s a compliment!
So dig this premise; in an alternate reality, Charles Manson and his “family” commit their heinous crimes then retreat to an underground bunker to wait for the helter skelter race war they managed to incite to end and for white people to reign over the world. Well, Charlie rots away and passes the torch to a real grade-A psycho and supreme racist (replete with outrageously huge swastika belt buckle) Dan Masucci, and after thirty years Dan leads the remaining members of the Family, including Manson’s daughter Kendra, to the surface. Imagine their delight to find that the war didn’t go ass expected, and now African Americans are in charge. What follows is an explosively gory, completely offensive whirlwind of deviant imagery including, but in no way limited to; maggot filled corpse genitalia, pregnant women being shot and urinated on, severed dicks flying left and right, and gallon upon gallon of the red sauce flowing like rain. Oh, and there’s a pretty poignant message in there too believe it or not.
Like many a great exploitation flick of the past, HONKY HOLOCAUST is filled with outlandish villains and crowd pleasing nudity and violence taken to extremes…and a surprisingly astute commentary on social issues presented in a way that is every bit as zany as the insanity that surrounds it.
And therein lies the main negative of this film (if you want to look at it that way). The violence, nudity, and racial slurs are so completely omnipresent and in your face that some viewers (although what viewer would be a big enough dumb ass to go through the trouble of seeking out a specific Troma flick and not know what they were getting into would be rather slim I wager) may be turned off and miss the heart and soul of the film; namely racism is bullshit, and benefits absolutely no one.
To sum shit up; HONKY HOLOCAUST is exploitation cinema done right; it’s fearless, brutal, full of D.I.Y punk rock spirit, and crafted with a whole lot of heart on a budget the size of a fly’s pecker…oh, and it’s entertaining as hell to boot. I can’t urge you creeps to check it out post-fucking-haste!
RELEASE DATE: Available January 3rd on VOD (Click Here for More Info)
WRITTEN BY:Joshua Miller
DIRECTED BY:Joshua Miller
STARRING: Jeremy Castaldo, Amber Tranum, Wade Blevins
A young TV star and his pals trek off into the wilds of an abandoned park to hold a memorial party for a deceased friend. Well wouldn’t you know it; a bizarre ass drug addled psycho who decides to murderize our goofy gang one by one after they traipse into his lab. Such is the plot for off-kilter slasherific shocker THE COOK from Brain Damage Films.
Right off the bat you can tell that THE COOK isn’t going to set the world alight with it’s blazing originality; attractive young folk enter a secluded area and get royally fucked up…a classic since 1980 (and yeah, yeah…I know there were proto slashers well before; but ol’ FRIDAY THE 13TH was the one that made it “a thing”).
So what does THE COOK do to set it head and shoulders above the pack? Well the answer to that is the titular killer. The Cook is some sort of appointed punisher of the wicked and he is out of his skull on meth as he goes about his horror biz resulting in some rather nifty hallucinogenic ass-foolery. It all adds an air of at least an attempt at providing something left of the norm.
But, as always, all isn’t blood and roses with THE COOK. For starters, the acting in this thing is absolutely atrocious. I can appreciate working with friends or giving folks a shot…but this is a bit much (and you know I’m a forgiving mother fucker). Also, the sound mix leaves a bit to be desired as background noises get distracting AF (I’m pretty sure most of the audio for this bad boy was recorded live).
All that being said, I enjoyed THE COOK for what it is. The Cook is a sleazy, crazy mother, and the lighting and imagery are occasionally pretty damn cool, as are the kills that stay mostly on the side of over-the-top blood soaked gags rather than the abhorrent torture porn that is way too prevalent these days.
If you are a slasher fanatic, this stalk n’ slay foray will likely satisfy, but I doubt it’ll make your top ten of terror.
RELEASE DATE: Available January 3rd (Click Here for More Info )
WRITTEN BY: John Johnson
DIRECTED BY:John Johnson
STARRING:John Johnson
-Reviewed by Daniel XIII
For better or worse, there are times in this revoltin’ reviewing game where your’s cruelly is sent a motion picture that is just a bizarre experience from beginning to end…and this is definitely one of them.
SKELETON KEY 3 PART 2 (if there’s more of these fuckers instead of it being a LEONARD PART 6 type of deal I have no idea…and given the amount of research I do for this site we both know damn well that will remain a mystery forever), begins with a man named Howard being unfrozen from carbonite (isn’t that trademarked by some big corporation or two?) into a world over run with blue zombies (I say “over run” I mean there’s like six or seven of them). Before long he joins up with his friends (whose ranks include some sort of anime chick, a pirate, a soldier, a leprechaun…my head is starting to hurt) and attempts to set the world to rights. Improvised dialog (at least I think it is), catchy show tunes (yup, this flick is a partial musical), and (admittedly enjoyable) stale and corny jokes bombard your senses for a very, very long time (more on that soon). Oh, there’s also an invisible man, a nipple biting sock puppet, some orange-ass Putty Patrol reject, and…and…I just can’t go on.
On the positive side; SKELETON KEY 3 PART 2 is a truly unique flick that doesn’t give a fuck what it does or how it goes about it…nothing really makes sense and it’s politically incorrect and for this type of a picture, that is all a bonus. Also, some of the actors are engaging, the songs are really fun, and there is a heapin’ helping of the ol’ red sauce and bouncin’ boobs (if that’s your type of thing…and we all know it’s mine).
Moving on to the negative, this movie is waaaaaaay too long. As a rule, any piece of off-the-wall fright flick nonsense should be 90 minutes max, and this lil’ slice of weirdness pie clocks in at just shy of two hours…that leads to bloat and periods where your attention will definitely wander. Also, this is a mega-low budget affair so don’t expect top shelf (or even competent) acting from many of the participants, or dynamic cinematography, lighting or effects (not a problem for me, but I know some of you just can’t warm up to a production like this).
If you can overlook it’s technical shortcomings and insane run time, there is some fun to be had with SKELETON KEY 3 PART 2, especially if you dig on Troma flicks and their like, but I can almost guarantee it won’t become one of your fav flicks anytime soon.
RELEASE DATE: Available Now on Blu-ray (Click Here to Purchase)
WRITTEN BY: Greg Lamberson
DIRECTED BY:Greg Lamberson
STARRING: Craig Sabin, Mary Huner, T.J. Merrick, Jennifer Bihl, Kealan Patrick Burke, Debbie Rochon
-Reviewed by Daniel XIII
Man, the good ol’ days sure did have a fascination with body meltin’ horror; and I have seen the lion’s share of these melty, gooey flicks such as STREET TRASH and…and…o.k. STREET TRASH is kinda the gold star standard here; but it was a good one! Well lo and behold Camp Motion Pictures have saw fit to introduce me to another classic of the genre by sending me their new double feature release of SLIME CITY and it’s 2010 sequel SLIME CITY MASSACRE!
Beginning with SLIME CITY, you can tell right off the bat you are in ultra-low budget land as the film displays that “look” that was made famous by Henenlotter or early Troma; that visual style commonly known as “no money”. But, like around roughly 99% of my all-time fav fright flicks, the film makers said “fuck it”, and decided to go hog wild with outlandish concepts and zany effects (a trend director Greg Lamberson continues to this day as his latest feature KILLER RACK shows).
To put the story in a nutshell; SLIME CITY tells the tale of Alex; a run of the mill art student that moves into an apartment building inhabited by tenants that are…well, they’re fucked up is what they are. Take Roman for instance; this dude (a member of a strange cult) has Alex over to share Himalayan yogurt (that just so happens to come in green and blue) and liquor concocted by an alchemist…which would be odd enough, but the strange repast has the effect of changing Alex into a slime dripping, melt faced murder machine. Glop, puke, and mildly disapproving parents flash across the screen with wild abandon. It’s like Jekyll and Hyde meets bukkake.
While a bit slow here and there, SLIME CITY nevertheless delivers when it comes to off the wall characters and jaw dropping effects; though whether said jaw drops due to technical expertise or a lack thereof varies from scene to scene. That being said, I dug on all of the splattery goodness six ways to Sunday, and applaud what was delivered with the means available, and honestly, that’s all that counts to gore hounds that eat this shit up; the subtle nuances of line delivery or lighting don’t mean a damn, we just want copious gore and red sauce, and I can safely say this flick damn well delivers!
So SLIME CITY is cool AF, but Camp have included a shit ton of extras to accompany the flicks on this release to give ya a lil’ more bang for your barf covered buck! For the lead feature you get two audio commentaries; one from 2006 featuring writer/director Greg Lamberson and star Craig Sabin that is more anecdotal, and another from 2016 with Lamberson flying solo that is more nuts and bolts about the film’s production and distribution. Along with the chit-chat you also get archival featurette detailing SLIME CITY’s production, a lengthy interview with lead actors Craig Sabin and Mary Huner (which covers their work in SLIME CITY and beyond), and a handful of trailers and promos.
So, SLIME CITY was a rollicking good time, let’s see how it’s sequel fares…
SLIME CITY MASSACRE kicks things off with a flashback to 1959, an apocalypse, a bizarre scene with Lloyd Kaufman (that old timey music), and a guitar riff laden song about slime…and this is the first five minutes. For 99% of you I wont even have to type anything else because you are completely sold…but I’ll sum shit up anyway ‘cuz I’m a real pro.
In the shell shocked post-apocalyptic remains of Slime City, a gaggle of survivors stumble across the secret stash of yogurt and hooch of the cult from the original film (whose origins are told via the reoccurring aforementioned flashbacks) which they of course consume. They of course become slime covered lunatics in the blink of an eye and go on a kill-crazy hootenanny (eventually…first they fuck a lot). Also in the mix are a real estate tycoon that wants to develop Slime City into an upscale property and his hired commandos out to eliminate the local homeless population for extra shenanigans. Oh, and there’s also a dude finger banging a bathtub full of slime…don’t ask.
While a completely different animal from it’s predecessor, SLIME CITY MASSACRE is nevertheless a great piece of truly independent cinema; and while locations and means are slim, the creativity and outrageousness are cranked to the nines to give the whole affair an “anything goes” aesthetic that is a ton of fun to lay putrid peepers upon! The only negative is this flick is missing the “warm and fuzzies” of the first flick due to it being a modern production rather than it being a product of the eerie eighties.
As for beastly bonus features, SLIME CITY MASSACRE comes complete with it’s own cornucopia of features including: a lively commentary track with director Lamberson as well as actresses Jennifer Bihl and Debbie Rochon, a blooper reel, a collection of behind the scenes footage, an interview with the film’s composer; MARS (who wears a rad-ass Death Records t-shirt), Also included is a rather awesome feature length “making-of” documentary that sheds light on just what it takes to make a low-budget monsterpiece such as this (trust me, it’ll make you want to get out there and do it for yourself if you’re so inclined).
Honestly, if you love the gritty, D.I.Y. style of 80’s genre film made famous in the grind houses of 42nd Street, then this is an absolute “must have” release!
STARRING: Shanna Mclaughlin, Amy LoCicero, Brian C. Chenworth
–Reviewed by Daniel XIII
A gaggle of goofs (and I do mean goofs…some of these fools are downright slapstick in their buffoonery) head out to a ragin’ par-tay in a secluded barn only to be waylaid by a group of black hoodie wearing satanic cultists (complete with dodgy CG morphin’ faces™) in the latest from Brain Damage Films; THE SUMMONING.
To elaborate on the above; a group of college kids head to a party, their vehicle’s engine conks out, and they trudge forward on foot through the woods. They are then chased and murdered by the monstrous members of a sinister Satanic cult. Fun practical gore and inexplicable cg nonsensery ensues. Hmmm, that isn’t much of an elaboration really, but this flick is rather simple in premise…and that ain’t a bad thing. It’s a straightforward stalk n’ slay affair with demonic overtones and a few laughs.
So, let’s start with the positives; the cast in this film is pretty damn solid. Even though they are playing “bros” and their vacuous female equivalents, these folks genuinely seem to be giving it their all, and some of the performances are honestly hilarious (like on purpose and everything)…it’s just damn refreshing to see a cast that are playing their roles with an earnest enthusiasm. The same goes for it’s storytelling; it’s an uncomplicated narrative to the max; but it moves at a great clip, and never pretends to be anything more than it is; namely, an excuse for attractive folks to get hacked to pieces by monstrous maniacs…and that earns it a ton of points with me; it delivers on it’s promise without being precious about it.
On the negative side of the coin, the CG in this film…well…she ain’t so good. I don’t know why folks with modest budgets try to utilize cg…it isn’t needed, and always looks off (hell, it doesn’t even look good in multi-million dollar pics). I appreciate what the film makers were trying to do with the tools, but it took me out of the film when it was on screen.
Simply stated, THE SUMMONING achieves what it sets out to be, namely a teens versus evil cult romp, rather successfully. It has heart (which gets you pretty far with your’s cruelly), and it gives us what we crave for the most part (namely boobs, blood, and bad guys). I say give it a watch; I doubt it’ll jump to the top of your favorite fright flicks of all time list; but it’s a fun way to spend a rainy afternoon.
The Outre Eye of Daniel XIII 