- RELEASE DATE: Available Now
- WRITTEN BY: Paul M McAlarney
- DIRECTED BY:Paul M McAlarney
- STARRING:Richard Chandler, Aurora Grabill, Sam Hays
Read that title again. Feel offended? Then do yourself a favor and just click on away from here post fuckin’ haste, ‘cuz things are going to get waaaay more insane very, very fast.
So here we go; GAY JESUS is the story of ol’ JC and Judas…except they are completely in lust with one another. So these two fun lovin’ dudes hole up in a el scumo hotel room in Jerusalem where they right sermons and fuck a lot. Before long things get complicated by the arrival of Mary Magdalene, whom Jesus of course has to screw, which causes Judas to have a conniption fit (helped in no small part by Satan of course). You can guess where that leads…but what you probably wouldn’t guess is the inclusion of women pissing, copious amounts of schlong, and good ol’ gore…oh, and a laugh track.
As you can tell, this is one fucked up short feature. But, it’s a fucked up feature with a message (like all of writer/director Paul M McAlarney’s films); namely don’t be a homophobic dick (oh, and jealousy is rather shit too) .It also contains some really nice lighting and solid acting, but let’s be honest; if you chose to watch a flick called GAY JESUS, then the only thing you demanded was outrageousness, and let me tell ya, you get more of that than you could ever bargain for!
So; there you have it; but form your own opinion if you choose to check it out (if you’re 18+ that is), which you can do right here!
And with that, so closes The Outre Eye…but all is not lost; my revoltin’ reviews will now be featured exclusively on That’s Not Current!
BAD KIDS OF CRESTVIEW ACADEMY
• RELEASE DATE: In Theaters and On Demand Now
• WRITTEN BY: Barry Wernick, James R. Hallam
• DIRECTED BY: Ben Browder
• STARRING: Sammi Hanratty, Sean Astin, Drake Bell
-Reviewed by Daniel XIII
After Siouxsie’s (Hanratty) sister is murdered on campus, our plucky heroine gets her self purposefully interred in weekend detention (reserved for the richest students at Crestview Academy) to investigate the homicide further, as she believes these elitist d-bags know exactly what went down. This being a (semi) fright flick and all, our scrappy gang o’ goofs soon find them locked within the school where they begin to find themselves B.D, in the horror biz, as a mysterious assailant begins taking them out one by one. Who will survive, and what will be left of them…and is something supernatural afoot in among the stalk n’ slay?
First and foremost BAD KIDS OF CRESTVIEW ACADEMY (a sequel of sorts to 2012’s BAD KIDS GO TO HELL…although this film plays like a stand alone; hell, I had no idea the first film even existed before I performed an exhaustive 3.7 second IMDb search) is a fun lil’ fright flick. It doesn’t take itself overly seriously, and it’s filled to the brim with outrageous characters and absurd situations. The cast is really strong, with Sean Astin’s performance as a straight laced teacher in over his head surrounded by student body comprised of sociopaths and miscreants being a real stand out. Also adding to the enjoyment are some well done comic book style transition shots (fitting as this is based on a graphic novel), a lil’ groovy gore, and decent twists and turns.
If there is a negative to be found here; it’s that dread demon; lengthy run-time. I have no idea what possesses people to make horror movies that run over the “golden” 80 to 90 minutes, but they keep doing it, and ol’ BAD KIDS is no exception. At over an hour and forty minutes the action slows down here and there, and the overall pacing suffers for it a tad; but that being said, it is in no way a detriment to the over-all entertainment to be found here.
To put a fuckin’ bow on it; I really enjoyed BAD KIDS OF CRESTVIEW ACADEMY, and willing to wager you will to; it’s a serious load of fun and frights with some great slashy hijinks. Highly recommended!
Werewolves in Siberia are about to release a killer lil’ slice of awesome; an E.P. titled TRANSCONTINENTAL ROAD RACE on January 17th (which is also the same day as Roger Corman unleashes his sequel to DEATH RACE 2000; DEATH RACE 2050).
As you can surmise from the title of this bad boy; it too is inspired by ol’ Crazy Corman’s 1975 masterpiece…and let me tell you; the music contained herein should have been the score to the new film, as once again the wicked Werewolves die-liver a sonic assault of pure synth frenzy; including what just may be my favorite WIS tune ever; Frankenstein the Indestructible, an ominous, sound bite laden assault that really drives home the bad assery of the character brought to life by the late, great David Carradine!
Be sure to head here on the 17th and pick up a copy for your own damn self; and tell ’em XIII sent ya!
THE UNGOVERNABLE FORCE
- RELEASE DATE: Click Here For Info
- WRITTEN BY:Paul M McAlarney
- DIRECTED BY:Paul M McAlarney
- STARRING: Tony Moran, Lloyd Kaufman, Debbie Rochon
-Reviewed by Daniel XIII
Okay, I thought I had seen the height of cinematic lunacy when I viewed Paul M McAlarney’s HONKY HOLOCAUST, but let me tell you creeps that flick doesn’t even hold a cum covered candle to what awaited your’s cruelly when he popped his putrid peepers upon the same director’s punk rock infused opus THE UNGOVERNABLE FORCE!
In a weird society just a few steps to the side of our own, young Sal Purgatory is looking to heal his broken heart; the result of a recent break-up. Well he just so happens to fall for a comely punkette and as their relationship grows, so too do the tensions between the vulgar (yet ultimately heroic) punks and the local law enforcement (who in turn are aided and abetted by a neo-nazi group). But the punks aren’t the only poor bastards on the gendarmes shit list, as the goons routinely rape and kill female homeless, who are part of some sort of bum cult. While this all seems insane enough, I have to mention that the Mafia and monsters are involved as well. Before long everything erupts in all out war, as dicks are exposed, shits are taken, guts are spilled, and blood sprays freely. I love this fucking movie!
The only way I can adequately describe the experience of THE UNGOVERNABLE FORCE is; picture if John Waters had Sid Vicious as a muse rather than Divine, then decided to make flicks for Troma. Yup; fucking fantastic, right?!! You bet your ass it is!
Along with all of the off-kilter kill-crazy antics; there is a current of social consciousness (though not as prevalent as the anti-racisim message of HONKY HOLOCAUST) with a strong “abuse of power” and the need to kick against the pricks being chief among them. Also of note is how derogatory terms lose their meaning when used casually…you’ll see what I mean when you watch the film…and you will watch the film…
In the negative column; this film is definitely not for everybody (as was the case with the aforementioned HONKY HOLOCAUST) . There is a sense of offensiveness that is so pervasive that some of you weaker constituted fiends will never make it through the first ten minutes; but for the rest of us (a.k.a. the Cool Kids Club)…this flick is like a breath of fresh fuckin’ air (though one heavily scented with cheap booze and smokes) in genre cinema.
To sum it all up; I can emphatically state; if this film came out in the late ‘70’s or very early ‘80’s it would be revered as a masterpiece of exploitation cinema, no to mention a life changing flick for bored suburban kids just ready to rebel. I’m just going to come right out and say it; Paul M McAlarney represents just what we need; a ballsy as fuck film maker with a strong voice and no fear in presenting unsettling imagery accompanying an important message or two…all in the name in grind house ass foolery. Check it out when you can my creeps!
Some of my favorite creeps are involved with this; so iffin’ ya like the rough n’ tumble music that followed in the immediate wake of Nirvana (and for the record I really fuckin’ don’t…but I loved this film anyway, that’s how god damned good it is) then this is the flick for you!
Throw ’em some coins right here, and help their rock n’ roll dreams come true (the film makers, not the bands because, well…watch the movie and you’ll see)…
- RELEASE DATE: Available January 10th on Blu-ray (Click Here to Purchase a Copy)
- WRITTEN BY:Paul M McAlarney
- DIRECTED BY:Paul M McAlarney
- STARRING: Maria Natapov, LaNecia Edmonds, Lucas Fleming
When I park my ass in front of a flick distributed by those mad bastards over at Troma I expect to see a certain level of political incorrectness and gross out nonsense, but let me just assure you fine fiends upfront; they have hit some new levels of low with their release of Paul M McAlarney’s HONKY HOLOCAUST…and this site being what it is, you know that’s a compliment!
So dig this premise; in an alternate reality, Charles Manson and his “family” commit their heinous crimes then retreat to an underground bunker to wait for the helter skelter race war they managed to incite to end and for white people to reign over the world. Well, Charlie rots away and passes the torch to a real grade-A psycho and supreme racist (replete with outrageously huge swastika belt buckle) Dan Masucci, and after thirty years Dan leads the remaining members of the Family, including Manson’s daughter Kendra, to the surface. Imagine their delight to find that the war didn’t go ass expected, and now African Americans are in charge. What follows is an explosively gory, completely offensive whirlwind of deviant imagery including, but in no way limited to; maggot filled corpse genitalia, pregnant women being shot and urinated on, severed dicks flying left and right, and gallon upon gallon of the red sauce flowing like rain. Oh, and there’s a pretty poignant message in there too believe it or not.
Like many a great exploitation flick of the past, HONKY HOLOCAUST is filled with outlandish villains and crowd pleasing nudity and violence taken to extremes…and a surprisingly astute commentary on social issues presented in a way that is every bit as zany as the insanity that surrounds it.
And therein lies the main negative of this film (if you want to look at it that way). The violence, nudity, and racial slurs are so completely omnipresent and in your face that some viewers (although what viewer would be a big enough dumb ass to go through the trouble of seeking out a specific Troma flick and not know what they were getting into would be rather slim I wager) may be turned off and miss the heart and soul of the film; namely racism is bullshit, and benefits absolutely no one.
To sum shit up; HONKY HOLOCAUST is exploitation cinema done right; it’s fearless, brutal, full of D.I.Y punk rock spirit, and crafted with a whole lot of heart on a budget the size of a fly’s pecker…oh, and it’s entertaining as hell to boot. I can’t urge you creeps to check it out post-fucking-haste!
- RELEASE DATE: Available January 3rd on VOD (Click Here for More Info)
- WRITTEN BY:Joshua Miller
- DIRECTED BY:Joshua Miller
- STARRING: Jeremy Castaldo, Amber Tranum, Wade Blevins
A young TV star and his pals trek off into the wilds of an abandoned park to hold a memorial party for a deceased friend. Well wouldn’t you know it; a bizarre ass drug addled psycho who decides to murderize our goofy gang one by one after they traipse into his lab. Such is the plot for off-kilter slasherific shocker THE COOK from Brain Damage Films.
Right off the bat you can tell that THE COOK isn’t going to set the world alight with it’s blazing originality; attractive young folk enter a secluded area and get royally fucked up…a classic since 1980 (and yeah, yeah…I know there were proto slashers well before; but ol’ FRIDAY THE 13TH was the one that made it “a thing”).
So what does THE COOK do to set it head and shoulders above the pack? Well the answer to that is the titular killer. The Cook is some sort of appointed punisher of the wicked and he is out of his skull on meth as he goes about his horror biz resulting in some rather nifty hallucinogenic ass-foolery. It all adds an air of at least an attempt at providing something left of the norm.
But, as always, all isn’t blood and roses with THE COOK. For starters, the acting in this thing is absolutely atrocious. I can appreciate working with friends or giving folks a shot…but this is a bit much (and you know I’m a forgiving mother fucker). Also, the sound mix leaves a bit to be desired as background noises get distracting AF (I’m pretty sure most of the audio for this bad boy was recorded live).
All that being said, I enjoyed THE COOK for what it is. The Cook is a sleazy, crazy mother, and the lighting and imagery are occasionally pretty damn cool, as are the kills that stay mostly on the side of over-the-top blood soaked gags rather than the abhorrent torture porn that is way too prevalent these days.
If you are a slasher fanatic, this stalk n’ slay foray will likely satisfy, but I doubt it’ll make your top ten of terror.