• RELEASE DATE: Now in Theaters, on VOD, Digital HD and DVD December 6th (Click Here to Purchase a Copy)
• WRITTEN BY: David Bruckner
• DIRECTED BY: Gregg Bishop
• STARRING: Hannah Fierman, Chase Williamson, Justin Welborn
-Reviewed by Daniel XIII
Remember ol’ V/H/S; the arcane anthology that was heralded as the most rad-ass thing ever a few years back (before that third installment killed any good will the franchise may have had)? Well; the segment Amateur Hour from that film (you know, the one with the horny dudes running afoul of some sort of succubus) has been spun off into a feature film of its own called SiREN. Will this flick overload me with pleasure, or will it just be a cheap suck job?
The basics of SiREN are as follows; Jonah, a dude that’s just trying to have a simple bachelor party, frees what he believes to be an innocent girl from your average, run of the mill, supernatural sex dungeon run by an over-the-top goth cowboy sort of dude. Well, said cowboy understandably wants his “property” back, but she has kinda/sorta chosen Joshy-boy as her mate, because she is a sex hungry demon chick from antiquity. Bloodshed, perversion, and many a striptease ensue.
The main thing that struck me about SiREN is how much it seemed like one of those latter PROPHECY or HELLRAISER sequels, you know; the ones that were filmed somewhere in Eastern Europe…mixed with those SPECIES sequels. They too were filled with random nudie action and try too hard perverted antics, all set in some nondescript place that seemed just a bit left of center (I actually convinced my self this film was made overseas until I did like 4 seconds of research and discovered it was filmed in Georgia in the good ol’ U.S. of A.) . All of this just screams “low budget”, and the cast of folks I’ve maybe, possibly seen in something one time doesn’t really help things out any.
Now as much as this thing had a case of the budgetary cheaps, the story kind of follows suit. The secret sex society into all manner of deviant deviltry fairly reeks of the HOSTEL series; and my lord is there endless scenes of filler, especially towards the first half of the picture. All is not negative however as the acting is rather solid (and I was happy to see Hannah Fierman return as the creature), and the film, while padded, moves at a rather fast pace.
All in all, SiREN is rather bog standard fright flick fare; it’s not a bad way to spend a rainy afternoon, the creature designs are fun, and the ladies are easy on the eyes…but I doubt that you’d give it a second go after your initial viewing.